To All my friends. Merry Christmas and Happy New 2011 Year
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Why People Complain and What We Can Do About It
Know any chronic complainers? You may want to pass this on to them ... and if it's you, read on.I think it's natural for people to complain. Everyday we're faced with a lot of reasons to complain: we're not tall enough, we don't have the latest and greatest, it's too hot, it's too cold, they get everything handed to them, they shouldn't be doing this they should be doing that, etc.
Having the occasional complaint is fine. To expect a life without complaining (by you or others) is unrealistic.
Why we complain and what we can do about it
- Life's not fair.
I think most of us complain because we feel things are unfair and out of our control. Why do they have so much when I have nothing? I've worked just as hard, saved harder and I still don't have as much to show for it. It's just not fair.Genuinely unhappy.
Some people are just genuinely unhappy. They can't find joy in any aspect of their life. Genuinely unhappy people take to complaining to express their dissatisfaction with their life and in many situations it's used as a coping mechanism as well.Jealousy
Most times people won't admit to this as it's a rather unbecoming trait. They may also not admit to it because they truly don't recognize it as jealousy. This ties in with the first point of life not being fair. The emotion that can come out of that is jealousy. When you wish you had the new car, or the new job or the high salary there is a tendency to complain, either that the other people are getting this or that you're not.Lack of empathy. What can we do about it?
A lot of times we complain because we lack empathy for others. Think about this: You complain that someone isn't doing something "right", they should be doing it this way because that's what we would do if we were in that position. When we lack empathy we aren't able to fully put ourself in the other persons place. We don't know the thoughts going through their head or what other complexities they are facing in their lives at that moment.
- Think before we speak.
Before blurting out a complaint really give some thought to what you're going to say. Is it a complaint for the sake of complaining? Are you really unhappy with your situation? Is there any benefit to expressing this view point? If you are looking for insight from the person you're speaking with then by all means go for it. If you're mentioning it to spark a debate or initiate a conversation, OK. Just be aware of what you're saying and why you're saying it and also be mindful of the person you're speaking with. Are they rolling their eyes? ;)Have a plan.
I find it quite irritating when people complain about their job or people they work with or how they're bored with whatever it is they're doing at the moment. I find it even more irritating when people have no answer to the question "and what are you doing about it?" Some people have given it some thought and others just stare blankly as if to say "There's something I can do?" If you're unhappy with any situation make a plan on how you can change it. How are you going to take control and make your situation better? You can brush up your resume and start applying to new jobs. Look at how you can possibly move within the company you're in now. Can you go back to school or get specific training for what you'd like to do?Don't just moan about it do something!
Change your perspective.
Maybe you're complaining because you lack empathy for someone. Change your perspective and really put yourself in their shoes (and not just in one particular situation, but overall). Your thoughts, expectations and judgments may change and you may see the other person in a better light and not complain so much about how they're handling things.A change in perspective could also be helpful when we're complaining about what we don't have or how we don't measure up. First of all we shouldn't spend so much time comparing ourselves to others in the first place but if you do why is always with people who have more? Why not compare with those who aren't as fortunate as you. Look around you and really see what you have. There are a lot of people who would love to be in your position. Which leads me to my final point ...
Be grateful. When we complain it's usually because we're so focused on what we're lacking in certain aspects of our lives. The easiest way to curb our own complaining is to focus on the positive and go with the flow.
Be grateful for what you have and for what others have. Life isn't a race to see who can collect the most money, cars or other shiny objects. Ever told anyone to mind their own business? Well same goes for you. Focus on you and what makes you happy and how you can add value to your own life. Show appreciation for all that you currently have and for what you've been blessed with. Don't worry about all the other people odds are they're looking at you and wishing for something you have and that you may even be taking for granted.Do you have any other ideas on why we tend to complain and what we can do about it to make it stop?
Written on 10/25/2010 by Sherri Kruger. Sherri writes at Zen Family Habits, a blog celebrating all things family. Sherri also writes on personal development at Serene Journey, a blog dedicated to sharing simple tips to enjoy life Photo Credit: Leo MF
Very interesting http://www.collagenelife.com
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Useful Makeup News - Makeup Tips and Makeup Ideas
http://www.collagenelife.com/makeup_news.html - Makeup news is the collection of makeup tips, makeup ideas, makeup trends and healthy makeup regimes consequences of your lifestyle.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Body Care Tips - Body Care News - Body Care Ideas
http://www.collagenelife.com/bodycare_news.html - Body care ideas is the collection of body care news, body care ideas, body care trends and healthy body care fitness regimes result of your lifestyle.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Skincare News, Skincare Tips and Skincare Ideas
http://www.collagenelife.com/skincare_news.html - Skincare news is the collection of skincare tips, skincare ideas, skincare trends and antiaging skincare regimes result of your lifestyle.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
If You Don't Know What The TRUE LOVE IS!!!
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9 Ways to Never Be Late Again
There are three things that remind me of my father’s car: the Beach Boys, ChapStick, and a clock that is intentionally ten minutes fast. My father is one of those people who lives in his own time zone: Jeff Standard Time, sandwiched somewhere between Greenwich Mean and Mountain.I used to tease my father for setting his clocks fast to try (and rarely succeed) at fooling himself into punctuality. Now I find myself doing the same thing. I know my alarm clock is set ten minutes fast, but there’s some glimmer of hope that in the fog between sleep and wakefulness, I’ll read the blaring red numbers, forget that I’m playing games with myself, jump out of bed, and get the proverbial early-bird worm.
Excuses, Excuses
Why are some of us chronically late while others are predictably punctual? A lot of reasons. We learn it from our parents. (Thanks, Dad.) We learn it from our culture. (In some countries, like Ecuador and Peru, tardiness is so culturally ingrained that the governments have initiated public punctuality campaigns.) We are better or worse at quantifying measurements like time. (I’m also hopeless when it comes to estimating distance or how many people were at a party. Jelly beans in a jar? Forget it.) We value and perceive time differently. (I like to think of it as a jumping-off point for negotiations.) We want or don’t want attention. We’re focused or easily distracted. We try to do too much. We are thrilled or repelled by the anxiety of running late.There are myriad reasons. There are also myriad excuses.
Do Something About It
When I lived in New York, I could blame my tardiness on the city. There seemed to be a thousand and one obstacles to getting anywhere on time in Manhattan: subway maintenance, visiting dignitaries, spilled coffee, construction, street musicians, bagels, man on the tracks. I readily offered these excuses as I plopped down ten, fifteen, even thirty minutes late to work or a drink with a friend. “You would never believe the traffic on Broadway,” I’d sigh. The city was conspiring against me, and like Alice’s White Rabbit, I was perpetually late for a very important date.Recently, I moved from New York to a smaller city, where I have a car and more control over my schedule—which means fewer available excuses. I also have a friend who has redefined the word “late” (she has a personal record of three hours) and has put me on the other side of the fence. I’ve made some progress. And as they say on TV, now so can you! Before you give up and move to Peru, try some of these strategies for making yourself more punctual:
And for those of you who always arrive on the dot (well done), but are frustrated by your unfashionably late friends and colleagues, try these tips:
- The first step is acceptance. Admit you have a problem and enlist help.
- Surround yourself with clocks (not just the one on your cell phone).
- Bring something to read or occupy you, so if you arrive early, you don’t feel like you’re “wasting time.”
- Give yourself a handicap. If you’re a bad estimator, double the time you think it will take to get there.
- If you’ve never been where you’re going, look up directions beforehand (not at the time you’re supposed to be walking out the door).
- Before you accept invitations for engagements, ask yourself if you really can, or want to, attend. If you’re hesitant, perhaps it’s better to politely decline than rudely arrive late.
- Don’t try to do too much. Keep a detailed schedule and don’t be distracted by tasks not on it.
- Fine yourself a dollar (to your piggy bank) for every minute you’re late.
- Hypnosis. Hey, it can’t hurt, right?
Time is not money for everyone, but it is a resource. If you waste someone’s, they can’t get it back. Punctuality is about consideration, and it’s something I’m working on. I’ll keep you posted, but now I’ve gotta run. I’m late.
- Calmly let the person know you’re irritated.
- Impose some kind of consequence, playfully at first. For example, if your friend is late for a coffee date, she buys.
- Give her a taste of her own medicine. On your next meeting, show up as late as she was the last time.
Written on 8/25/2010 by DivineCaroline. DivineCaroline a place where people come together to learn from experts in the fields of health, spending, and parenting. Come discover, read, learn, laugh, and connect at DivineCaroline.com. Photo Credit: jakuza
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